Pizza Lover

     Venice glanced at her wrist watch to check the time. There’s still half an hour ‘til the class dismissal. She’s starving. She thought of her favorite food in the world. The food she can’t live without. She loves pizza so much. She couldn't wait to eat it when she get home. Ah! Happy thoughts. Her mom also loves pizza. Actually, her mom was born in Italy, where pizza originated. She was named after the place where her mom was born, Venice. They lived in Milan when she was just a kid, but moved here in the Philippines to take care of her grandmother. Sadly, her grandmother died 2 years ago. She decided to continue her studies here, and go back to Italy after college. "Grrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.", her stomach rumbled. Her classmate looked at her, laughing. “Dude, seems like the monster inside you is ready to eat a whole cow! Ha Ha Ha!”, said Jasey Rae, and they both bursted into laughter. “Okay class, bring out ¼ sheet of paper for our quiz.”, Ms. Horan said. They took out the paper and began answering the quiz. 10 minutes before dismissal. “Yes!”, Venice thought, feeling her stomach rumbling again. She finished the quiz 3 minutes before the time, and kept her things. “Okay class, pass the papers! You may go now. Ingat!”, said the professor as she collected the papers. Venice and Jasey Rae hurried to the door. They’re both very tired and hungry. “Bye Venice, see you tomorrow!” “Bye Jasey Rae!” 

     She then hurried to the jeepney and rode home. She sat next to a kid who was eating a burrito, then looked away because she’s getting hungrier. The jeepney stopped at the station, the passengers got off, including Venice. As she was walking, she saw a man in a motorcycle, wearing an all-black outfit. She remembered the news about the hold-uppers who wait for victims on the dark side of the streets. She walked faster. Their house is still a few streets from here, and no one was outside. No one was walking on the street except her. She was feeling nervous, her hands and knees were shaking. If the man was a hold-upper, no one would help her if the man hurt her and take her money and things. Even if she run, the man would still beat her because he was riding a motorcycle. But she had no choice; at least she tried to run away. “Run!”, she told he self, and ran for her life. The man on the motorcycle was driving slowly, as if he knew that she couldn’t do anything even if she runs faster. “Beep beep!”, the sound came from the motorcycle. She could see the gate of their house. Her heart was pounding, she felt the sweat on her forehead, on her back, on her hands. “Mom! Mom!”, she called when she stopped at their gate. Her mom opened the door, then walked to the gate and opened it for her. She hugged her mom tightly, and cried. “Anak, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”, her mom asked, but she couldn't speak. She was so terrified. She saw the lights of the motorcycle, it was outside their gate. “Mom! That guy was following me! I think he is a hold-upper!”, she finally said to her mom. “Is that why you are crying? It’s okay Venice, you’re safe now.”, her mom kissed her forehead and comforted her. Suddenly, someone called from the outside. “Good evening, Ma’am! Pizza delivery for Mrs. Gonzales. I think this is the right address.”, said the guy. Her mom took the pizza and paid for it. Venice was shocked. She was so stupid.

     They went inside the house. Venice was still feeling guilty and stupid. Guilty for thinking that the delivery guy was a bad man. Stupid for running away and being terrified. She laughed at the thought. “So, you thought the guy was a hold-upper? Poor guy.”, her mom said while laughing. Venice felt embarrassed. They both laughed at what happened. She felt better now, with her mom and her comfort food. Nothing beats eating her favorite food after a long, tiring, terrifying and stressful day. Pizza is for life! 

WONDERWALL ♥

In my solitude, I think of us

In my dreams, I hope this will last

Sitting in the sand, watching gumusservi

In the silent night, I think of acatalepsy.



At first I thought this is surreal

To feel this way is just so unreal,

But you made me believe this could be possible

And the thought of losing you would be unbearable.



This euphoria that I feel

When we talk, it is real

Your voice is mellifluous when you say 'I love you'

I want you to know, I feel the same way too.



The limerence that I am feeling

One day will be growing and blooming,

I hope that what we feel is not ephemeral

But instead, I pray this would be sempiternal.



This selcouth feeling in my heart

I want to know it by pieces, by parts

This thing that we have, I'd take the fall

Because baby after all, you're my wonderwall.





Ik hou van je

Mahal kita 

Sucker of Life

Heart beats harder.....

This is a story of how I coped with depression. Please play the song before you continue reading.

December 1, 2012. Saturday. I went to school only to find out that we don't have classes. It was already planned that I will go to my best friend's house after class. We planned to watch movies and eat and just enjoy the day. I was planning on telling her the problems I currently have, and ask for some pieces of advice.

It makes this harder...

While on the way to her house, I felt something strange. I cannot breathe. I was hyperventilating. I felt numb. I texted her about it and told her to pick me up at the waiting shed. But it took her a while and people were looking at me, asking if I'm all right because I was crying. She came, but I can't walk anymore. I felt numb all over. I was crying because I was afraid. A woman came to us and carried me to the clinic. But the doctor wasn't in. They called the ambulance. The clinic was full of Christmas decorations and they were playing Christmas songs. I was thinking, would this be the last time I will hear these Christmas songs? And see these decorations? And these strangers that were helping me? I was praying to God. I was crying. Is this how death feels like? I felt weaker every minute, and I was barely breathing. My best friend called my aunt. Minutes passed by and there was still no ambulance. Gladly, my aunt and uncle came and we went to the hospital. The doctor asked me questions, and checked my heart. The result was, my heart was beating irregularly. I was afraid; do I have a heart problem? Am I dying?

Tryin' to scream out my lungs, it makes this harder.. and the tears stream down my face...

We went home, and I can't keep these thoughts out of my head. That night, it happened again. I can't breathe, I was crying. There was this particular song that kept playing in my head. A sad song about grieving. A song about death. I was wondering if someone would sing it if I die. I was rushed into the hospital and was diagnosed with hypokalemia. It was due to depression and stress, physically and emotionally. I stayed at the hospital for four days. I kept praying and praying, and God heard me. I got through it, survived stress and depression. It wasn't easy, but I can say that I was strong enough to handle it. My family was there to support me on my downfall.

Depression is not a joke. Your thoughts can kill you. If you know someone who is going through it, please talk to them. Encourage them that there is more to this life, that what they are going through is not permanent. If you will only hold on to God, He will never leave you nor forsake you. One of the things that I have learned with this experience, it is to be calm and don't panic. Clear your mind, arrange your thoughts, focus on important things, appreciate the people beside you, read the Bible, and always pray. Don't let the pressure bother you. Take the problems one step at a time. Don't let the negativity suck your happiness.